Dec
30
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Tony Romo asked for Jessica Simpson after collapsing in the Cowboys shower room from popped cartilage in his ribs. TMZ reports:
As if totally choking in the biggest game of the season weren’t bad enough,
Tony Romo had to have Jessica “Yoko” Simpson rush to his side to help him with a little popped-out cartilage.
In Tony [...]
Related smut
Dec
29
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
- Jennifer Lopez, despite rumors to the contrary, is not getting a divorce, according to her rep. Oh, well, if her rep says so, then it must be true. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I need to get one of these rep people to tell a child support judge I’ve been sterile my entire life. [...]
Related smut
Dec
28
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Ashlee Simpson and Pete Wentz unveiled their future axe-murder Bronx Mowgli Wentz in a holiday card on their website Friends or Enemies.com. This only further proves my theory that Ashlee Simpson is dead. I mean, talk about classic textbook murder. If I’ve seen it once, I’ve seen it a thousand times:
Boy meets Girl.
Boy wants baby [...]
Related smut
Dec
24
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
After openly describing his sex life with Ashlee Simpson and not getting kicked out of the house, Pete Wentz has switched tactics and is now talking about her breast milk. And his drinking of said milk. You read that. NY Daily News reports:
Speaking on Sirius’ “The Monday Mash Up” show, Wentz described her milk [...]
Related smut
Dec
17
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Tales of derring-do:
- Lindsay Lohan’s crazed stalker was arrested last night after “lunging at her” at an Arizona nightclub. Finally, someone’s put Samantha Ronson behind bars before she lesbianizes another fading actress. [E! Online]
- Elisabeth Hasselbeck learns that whining will get you an invite to the Bush’s White House Christmas Party. I actually don’t blame [...]
Related smut
Dec
16
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Pete Wentz must want a divorce. The Fall Out Boy bassist spent the morning talking candidly with Howard Stern about his sex life with Ashlee Simpson and basically stopped short of drawing an exact diagram of her vulva. Here are the highlights via E! Online:
On her post-baby body:
And Ashlee probably didn’t want him telling everyone [...]
Related smut
Dec
12
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Pete Wentz is shooting down rumors that he and
Ashlee Simpson will be selling baby photos of Bronx Mowgli to the highest bidder. On his
blog A Homeboy’s Life, Pete discusses their rationale for not selling photos before slipping into the usual “God, it’s so tough being famous” diatribe:
About baby pics gossip: truth is like [...]
Related smut
Dec
5
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
The
Superficial News to get you through your Friday. Can anyone else almost taste that liquor? Oh, right, I filled my coffee mug with bourbon. (Tastes like happy.):
- Jessica Simpson wants to major in religion after seeing a documentary on “The Da Vinci Code.” For the love of God, why is nobody making this woman [...]
Related smut
Dec
5
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
O.J. Simpson just got slapped with 15 years in prison today for robbing a sports memorabilia collector in Vegas last year. The AP reports:
A broken O.J. Simpson has been sentenced to at least 15 years in prison for a Las Vegas hotel armed robbery by a judge who rejected his apology and said, “It was [...]
Related smut
Dec
3
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Pete Wentz admits in the latest issue of Details that his son Bronx Mowgli Wentz was an accident. For those of you thinking, “OMG, what if his son reads that?” I’m sure his reaction will be along the lines of “Yes! FUCK YES! These people didn’t have me on purpose! Now I can stop murdering [...]
Related smut
Dec
3
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Pete Wentz admits in the latest issue of Details that his son Bronx Mowgli Wentz was an accident. For those of you thinking, “OMG, what if his son reads that?” I’m sure his reaction will be along the lines of “Yes! FUCK YES! These people didn’t have me on purpose! Now I can stop murdering [...]
Related smut
Nov
27
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Hey, guys, I’ll be taking off the next two days for some R&R, but The Superficial will return to its regularly scheduled posting on Saturday Nov. 29. For those who haven’t noticed: Yes, Virginia, there’s posting on the weekends now. Whee!
In the meantime, here’s pics of Kim Kardashian who’s thankful this year for paparazzi that [...]
Related smut
Nov
25
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Pete Wentz called into Ryan Seacrest this morning to talk about what it was like seeing the birth of little doomed-for-life Bronx Mowgli. Us Magazine reports:
“Right before she went into labor, I was like, ‘Oh my God, I think I’m having a heart attack!’ Natural things start going on in your body,” Wentz went on. [...]
Related smut
Nov
22
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Jessica Simpson took time off from eating bread crumbs down by the lake to let the world know how adorable her new nephew Bronx Mowgli Wentz is. According to People:
“Bronx is beyond precious. I’m over the moon with joy,” the singer said Friday. “Life is a beautiful miracle. Ashlee and Pete are healthy, happy, and [...]
Related smut
Nov
21
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Ashlee Simpson-Wentz gave birth to a baby boy last night and simultaneously won the “You’ve Got to Be Shitting Me” Award for the most ridiculous baby name. People reports:
Bronx Mowgli Wentz weighed 7 lbs., 11 oz., and was 20 1/2 inches long.
“Ashlee, Pete and baby Bronx are all healthy and happy, and thank everyone for [...]
Related smut
Nov
18
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
To whoever convinced Jessica Simpson all men want to secretly bang Daisy Duck, hardy har har, asshole.
I kid. High five! Do
Heidi Montag next.
Photos: Pacific Coast News
Related smut
Nov
18
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I’m guessing, at least ten years ago? That
kid’s still in there. While taping an
upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports:
“They’re going to have to. It’s already developing really quick,” Jessica said Monday at [...]
Related smut
Nov
18
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I’m guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid’s still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports:
“They’re going to have to. It’s already developing really quick,” Jessica said Monday at [...]
Related smut
Nov
18
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I’m guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid’s still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports:
“They’re going to have to. It’s already developing really quick,” Jessica said Monday at [...]
Related smut
Nov
18
Filed Under The Superficial | Comments Off
Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I’m guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid’s still in there. While taping an
upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports:
“They’re going to have to. It’s already developing really quick,” Jessica said Monday at [...]
Related smut
Next Page →
RSS
