http://smutoncelebs.com Smut on celebs for all of the celebrity smut that is fit to print... And some that aren't. Tue, 18 Nov 2008 19:30:00 +0000 http://backend.userland.com/rss092 en Robert Pattinson walked the red carpet last night for the world premiere of Twilight where he was reportedly deafened by 50 bajillion screaming teens who thought it'd be cool to scratch their necks all up to simulate a vampire bite. Ha ha. That's our future, folks. I'm drowning myself in ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/robert-pattinson-attends-the-premiere-of-that-movie-your-little-sister-wont-stop-shrieking-about/ Britney Spears, despite being legally insane, went out on a date last night with a mystery man at Sur in Los Angeles. This has to be a kick in the birth canal for all the sane women out there who know that children aren't an end table for your cellphone ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/britney-spears-is-somehow-meeting-men/ I imagine you could probably fry an egg on Benji Madden's bald Elmer Fudd head right about now. These are pics of Paris Hilton getting cozy with her ex Stavros Niarchos at a club in Miami over the weekend, according to The Sun: Greek shipping heir Stavros - who dated Paris ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/paris-hilton-stavros-niarchos-reunited-and-it-feels-so-good-except-for-the-peeing/ Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I'm guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid's still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports: "They're going to have to. It's already developing really ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/ashlee-simpson-may-induce-labor-says-jessica-simpson-4/ Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I'm guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid's still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports: "They're going to have to. It's already developing really ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/ashlee-simpson-may-induce-labor-says-jessica-simpson-3/ Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I'm guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid's still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports: "They're going to have to. It's already developing really ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/ashlee-simpson-may-induce-labor-says-jessica-simpson-2/ Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I'm guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid's still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports: "They're going to have to. It's already developing really ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/ashlee-simpson-may-induce-labor-says-jessica-simpson-2/ Remember when Ashlee Simpson got pregnant, I'm guessing, at least ten years ago? That kid's still in there. While taping an upcoming episode of The Ellen DeGeneres Show, Jessica Simpson says her little sister may have to induce labor soon. People reports: "They're going to have to. It's already developing really ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/18/ashlee-simpson-may-induce-labor-says-jessica-simpson/ Here's a rare occurrence, pictures of Kim Kardashian wearing a bikini without a sarong. Seriously, you'd have better luck finding a four-leaf clover that talks and knows all the words to "Total Eclipse of the Heart" by Bonnie Tyler - in Aramaic. NOTE: Folks, we've got buttcrack. And quite possibly the ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/kim-kardashian-still-wearing-bikinis/ Heather Locklear has been formally charged for DUI stemming from her September arrest. Authorities say she was under the influence of prescription medicines, according to People: If convicted, the actress, 47, faces penalties ranging from a fine to up to six months in county jail. An arraignment was set for Jan. 26 ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/heather-locklear-charged-with-dui/ Once upon a time (Read: 2005), a presumably coked-out Lindsay Lohan wrote "Scarlett Johansson is a bloody cunt" on a bathroom stall in New York City. The two were once in competition for the lead role in The Parent Trap which Lindsay won. Scarlett Johansson has never talked about the ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/scarlett-johansson-on-lindsay-lohan/ Live in New York City? Now would be a good time to leave. Britney Spears is scheduled to light the tree at Rockefeller Center therefore ushering in Armageddon and ruining Christmas for every girl and every boy, according to OK! Magazine: Sources close to the pop superstar confirm to OK! that ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/britney-spears-to-light-tree-at-rockefeller-center/ A.C. Slater, What is it with you and sleeves? Why do they vex you so? I've put great a deal of effort into this question (five minutes) and narrowed it down to a list of likely scenarios that fuel your unbridled hatred for armwear. If these hit close to home, my apologies: 1. ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/mario-lopez-continues-his-never-ending-war-on-sleeves/ Comedian Wanda Sykes came out of the closet yesterday at a rally protesting Proposition 8 which banned gay marriage in California. The AP reports: "You know, I don't really talk about my sexual orientation. I didn't feel like I had to. I was just living my life, not necessarily in the ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/wanda-sykes-comes-out-of-the-closet/ Jamie-Lynn Sigler recently appeared on HBO's Entourage as herself and is the latest love interest for Turtle (Jerry Ferrara). Turns out their relationship isn't entirely fictional, according to Page Six Sigler tells Page Six Magazine today: "[Ferrara] is a very special person, and I'll leave it there . . . I'm ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/jamie-lynn-sigler-turtle-from-entourage-no-longer-just-an-insanely-unbelievable-plotline/ Match the supermodel with the thought going through her head: 1. "Try and tell me my outfit can't have a bejeweled spider attacking my vagina. I'm ______, bitch!" 2. "Wait a minute. This isn't Scores...." 3. "Probably should've gotten that Brazilian today." 4. "Why won't my mother just admit she had sex with Hawkman?" Answers: ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/17/victorias-secret-fashion-show-2008/ Fun Fact: Hugh Jackman and I are identical twins separated at birth. Which is why folks call me "Man Hughjack." Ladies? Photos: Pacific Coast News http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/16/hugh-jackman-might-work-out-a-little/ For those of you wondering what Big Love actress Chloe Sevigny looks like when she's not buried under 50 layers of Mormon, here she is at Miami beach yesterday wearing a bikini. Which begs the question: How can one man have all the answers to life's deepest questions? Magic. Photos: Bauer-Griffin, ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/16/chloe-sevigny-in-a-bikini/ Samantha Ronson took to her MySpace blog yesterday to let PETA know they kind of acted like A-holes by throwing flour at Lindsay Lohan while she was entering a Paris nightclub: There is a fine line that distinguishes the difference between exercising our freedom of expression and offending others, for example ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/16/samantha-ronson-tells-peta-about-itself/ So I learned two things today: 1. Debbie Matenopoulos is still alive. And 2. Her husband is an unbelievable dick. The guy's name is Jay Faires and he filed for divorce from Debbie - without telling her. She apparently found out on the Internet along with his request to deny ... http://smutoncelebs.com/2008/11/16/debbie-matenopoulos-found-out-about-her-divorce-online-ouch/