Charlie Sheen To Make Brooke Mueller Mrs. “Tranny Prostitute-Infested Sperm”

Charlie Sheen is reportedly getting hitched this evening to his fiancee Brooke Mueller. Denise RIchards has already gotten her camera crew on hand outside of the church to film her starting a fistfight with Sheen. Don’t even doubt it, she seriously needs something to liven up that boring-ass show of hers. The pig-f*cking wasn’t doing it for me.

There’s a rumor that Brooke is already knocked up and that this event is at the behest of the business end of a shotgun.

“They’ve been busy working on having a baby,” says a friend. “They have been for a couple of months. It’d be great if they had a son, because Charlie already has three daughters.”

Charlie has an adult daugher, and two toddlers by his super-villain wife Denise. The location for the wedding is a secret but sources say that guests will be chauffeured by car. Denise reportedly knows of the location because her daughters have been invited. So I wasn’t far off a couple of paragraphs back.

They had to tell Denise when it was, because they wanted the girls to come, but she doesn’t know where it’ll be,” says the source. “Who knows? She may even crash the event with a camera crew.” See?

Denise and Charlie have been having the hottest feud going for several months now. The most recent clash involved an e-mail that Charlie claims Denise sent Brooke asking for Charlie’s DNA to have another kid. Denise denied that she requested what she referred to (classically) as his “tranny prostitute-infested sperm.” Is that on a t-shirt, yet? Charlie’s rep says that a computer expert has been called in to determine if the e-mail was sent from Richards or not.

Richards claims that Sheen has cut off her child support, and recently mocked her dead mother in an e-mail. This one is going to end in a murder, and as long as the kids are left out of the violence, I am making a big bowl of popcorn and sitting back to enjoy it.